Nothing says humility like a post in the local newspaper with your first and last name stating that you are filing for bankruptcy. Then having people talk about it in town as if its any of their business. What a slap in the face..need I more reminders that my life almost two years ago took a very scary turn for the worst? And really, who needs this information anyways? Why is this something that needs to be public knowledge, a gossip subject? What SHOULD be posted in the paper, is" wow this family could use some "good" they are filing for bankruptcy because they have $80,000 in medical debt gained in just one year from taking excellent care of their special needs daughter. High five Custer family, your GREAT parents!" Wouldn't that be nice?? Life doesn't spare anyone I guess. Luckily now..carsen receives medicaid for her incredible medical needs, and really I couldn't be more grateful for this...I can't imagine what would happen to my small family without it. Here we are..just trying to make it..both business owners...struggling to maintain our sanity and support our children. Lucky for us, (Cole and myself) we are strong, thick skinned people, and though we feel insecure about the things that are being written in the Norfolk Daily News, we maintain our poise, and remember that "this too shall pass". (Luckily) Just like every other moment in life when we feel defeated, or like we are drowning...it all comes and goes. So next Tuesday, my husband and myself will appear in front of the court to make our finally plea for bankruptcy where we will finally be releived of our medical dept and given back our sanity, and possibly be able to stand a little taller without this weight on our shoulders. I guess I'm thankful for that. Just like everything else I am thankful for, good health of both my husband, my self, and our new daughter Adalyn, who is 6 months old now..WOW has it been that long since I last blogged?? I guess time gets away faster with the more children you have. Adalyn LOVES her big sissy Carsen, I can't wait until she is a little older and she can understand to be gentle with Carsen. She tends to pull hair, and pinch (not on purpose) but because she doesn't know. So, I try to monitor their interaction as much as possible. Carsen is aware that she has a sister..or more that there is something new in the house that is loud and sometimes tackles her. Needless to say Carsen isn't thrilled with this new family member, but she tolerates her, (sometimes). Carsen seems to be doing pretty well at the moment, we have had a couple MAJOR scares since I last blogged. One in which we came VERY close to..you know what...but we had the man upstairs on our side and angels watching over her. She is starting to use her voice to tell us what she wants which is REALLY exciting. She understands one word and one word only, "DRINK"...we verbalize it to sound like a question when talking to her "DRINK?"...and immediately her voice gets loud and high pitched as if she's saying "YEA!" She isn't, but thats what the noise she makes sounds like...It was an incredible moment when I realized she was responding to me when i asked her if she wanted a drink. Now we are learning her noises, and I can tell when she makes a certain noise that she is asking for a drink, and I can watch her tongue move as if she is drinking from a bottle. She's so smart :) I think this is how life will be with her...when for so long I wondered what we were in store for..and I think I have it figured out, (sort of). Her therapists are trying hard to please me by not being to over aggressive but trying to help in a way that is comfortable for Carsen. I took her out of physical therapy that we were doing at the local hospital. Their idea of therapy for any child was that crying just comes along with it...Well not for my child it doesn't..so I quickly took her out of that program and we do therapy at home, when she is feeling up to it. Just like always her moods are up and down, We have a very comfy cute recliner in the living room for her, but currently she prefers to be in her room in her comfy bed. I mean, I get it, its quiet, no one bothers her, her sister isn't always screaming in her ear, but I just wish she enjoyed being around the family. I go in and visit with her, and we play a lot when her sister is napping, so she is never alone for too long. I think she will get used to all the chaos that is currently our house do to having a 6 month old, but I understand it will take time. When she is awake she comes out for small visits in the living room until she decides she's had enough.
Tube feeding is going well, better than mouth feeding which is non existent...she has her couple spoonfuls of fruit during the day mixed with some meds that can't be pushed through the tube but thats about it..oh and her water bottle..which she ADORES!
Oh I MUST mention one more thing she has learned and that is to laugh! UNCONTROLLABLY, its the most adorable and refreshing sound in the entire world! If I hold her and count slowly one...two...three...and drop her down real fast she just looses it! She knows whats coming when I get to two..and begins to squeal in delight!! sigh...........it really is a good life.
Signing off for now...:) peace and love to you all!
